selfdoubtandsyphilis: dankestrnemes: do animals think in english or in the sounds they make this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
harrysgettinhead: “you shouldn’t be walking alone at this time of night” no actually people shouldn’t fucking attack other people at any time of day i said god damn
Seduce me. Write letters to me. And poems, I love poems. Ravish me with your...– Anne Boleyn (via rainydaysandblankets)
My friend Isabel won nationals for public speaking...
yeahwhatofit: She won. Like what the fuck, never doubted you for a second Is, but YOU ARE THE BEST IN THE WORLD NOW AHHH
hoflords: Eurovision is actually a big deal because after we spent 1000 years killing each other we’ve decided to put our weapons aside and dazzle each other with our ridiculous singing performances, nice Russian grannies and gay Romanian draculas.
nikolawashere: When you stretch and your inner porn star moan comes out by accident
queenrylan: esotericalesbians: it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob what the fuck why do so many people think they will never receive a blowjob Because we have vaginas
ticklishbutts: theladyofpie: ticklishbutts: the Cold War is basically just the United State and the Soviet Union saying how big of a penis they have but when it comes down to it neither of them actually want to flash the other to show for fear the other actually does have a bigger penis Holy shit, that’s spot on I don’t post faulty penis analogies so of course it is
If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces” that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now! Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.